Randomness

This morning Margie decided she was ready to get up a 5 am. Being the awesome mom that I am, I let her cry, sure she would go back to sleep. She did. About 5:55. At 6 am the lovely sound of Bob Marley crooning Buffalo Soldier woke me up. I am not sure why Matt sets his alarm. We are usually always awake, and if we aren't, he probably isn't getting up then anyway. I guess it is payback from my years of abusing the snooze button. Add to the mix our eastern exposure master bedroom in a state that gets 300 days of sunshine and it is summer. We are usually up with the sun or shortly thereafter.

We also discovered the need for a plunger in the girls' bathroom and ours was left behind. Matt made an early morning trip to Walmart.

Lily woke up with a fever. No other complaints, but a fever of 103. A dose of Tylenol brought it down and it has been hovering around 100 the rest of the day. She did take two naps though, meaning I was forced to cancel plans for tomorrow. Bummer.

Since we were homebound today, I spent a good deal of time perusing the interwebs for home decor. I decided I want one of everything from World Market. Specifically, I want these curtains for my laundry closet.

Somewhere during my curtain hunt I decided I am going to run the Hot Chocolate 5K this year. It is October 6. I have less than 4 months to go from couch to 5K. Must get started...

Lily has not moved from the couch all day. Margie has been an extra handful to make up for her sister's ease to deal with.

But then Margie took an almost 4 hour nap. I am hoping it is due to her early initial wake up and not because she is getting sick as well.

After dinner I literally took Margie's high chair and hosed it off. I would have powerwashed it if we had a powerwasher. It was that nasty. The dog probably could have used a good hosing as well. When Margie decides she is done with dinner she tosses her plate. I try to be on my toes at meal times, but sometimes I don't catch her in time. The dog knows she will inevitably get some delicious people food if she sticks near Margie. Today she was a little too close and ended up with rice and beans on her head.

There are three wildfires burning in Colorado right now. None are really close, but they freak me out. I am not a fan of fire. Like at all. When I was younger I begged my parents for a ladder for my room. My cousins had a fire in their garage and I wouldn't go over to their house anymore.

And now, if you will excuse me, Margie is dancing on the kitchen table. I wish I was joking....

Confession

It is 12:30 and we are all still in our pajamas. This is partially because it is laundry day and partially because I am totally lazy it is the first real hot day since we moved to Colorado and I have no plans to leave the house. I know I need to get used to the hot, since it is only June and there are a good 3 months of hot in store. But it's a dry heat, they tell me. Whatever. Hot is hot and 60 degrees, sunny and breezy is my perfect weather. I have a million things on my to do list and considering the amount of coffee coursing through my veins I should have most of it done. I have like three things done. Laundry is going, the bills are paid, I actually hung up a couple decorations on my walls, though I don't know if what I have up is how I will keep it. I did take a poll on Facebook on what to do regarding curtains and my laundry closet. You see...I've been thinking hard about what needs to be done! And I did Magic Eraser Margie's masterpiece in orange crayon on the stairway wall. I also found the appropriate homes for most of the toys in what I suppose could be considered the play room, mostly in a mad search for even one of Margie's "byes", which is what she calls her pacis. Don't ask, I have no idea. Margie has a habit of hiding them. Lily had two pacis from about age 1 to 3 and we always knew exactly where both were. Margie, on the other hand, has had more pacis than I can even count. At the moment there are about 5 in the house. It was Lily to the rescue when she found all of them in my shoes in my closet. I suspect the Big Stinker (Lily, not to be confused with Margie, the Little Stinker!)may have known where they were all along because when I asked her to go look upstairs she went up with a recepticle "just in case she found all of them together". A minute later she came down with all of them in said recepticle. I get that she likes watching mommy's head nearly explode, but it isn't very nice to watch her sister in misery. Now the girls are making way too much noise playing with the keyboard and drum machine but at least they are not messing up the house. Though I do feel a headache coming on. Nothing a nice homemade iced mocha can't fix ;)!

Musings

The girls and I are at my parents' house for the weekend. It's peaceful here. So peaceful right now. I have one baby asleep next to me; despite all the grief she may give me by day, she really does look like an angel. The other baby is sleeping g peacefully in the pack and play at the foot of the bed. Sleep is the only time she is still. There are two other bedrooms available, but we always sleep together when the three of us are here. I desperately want to be sleeping like them, but I can't shut off my brain. It's always going, planning, worrying.
We have big changes on the horizon. Huge changes. And in the midst of it I am trying to find myself. It's funny really, being 33 years old and trying to find yourself. There were years when I was a wife and was sure I would know myself once I was a mother. Then I was a mother with a young baby and I couldn't imagine anything greater. Then I had two babies and I thought that I had finally found myself. And then, one day it hit me. I am more than a wife and more than a mother. But I am not sure what that more is. Don't get me wrong, if I do nothing else in this world I will consider my life a triumphant success. Together with my husband, the man who balances me and knows me so well, the man who chose me, I have created life and that is awe inspiring and humbling. But I feel I'm on a precipice. I'm on the verge of something that is just me. Given time I'm sure ill figure it out. In the meantime, I'm going to sit back and embrace what I already am...

Because We Haven't Had Enough Changes in the Past Year

Things are about to get super crazy! We are moving...across the country!!! We are Denver bound! Matt has already been out there and found us a sweet new house which he closes on in two weeks! Our stuff is packed. I have given notice at work. And in 18 days we are leaving the midwest behind and heading for the mountains! I am so excited. And scared. And happy. And so, so, so ready to get back to my life from a year ago...albeit 1000 miles from where I thought we would be. I will be home with the kiddos again and it will be just us. The past year has been an adventure, to say the least. And I am so grateful for all the support we have had from our families, particulary my inlaws, who have put their lives on hold to help us get where we are. But we need to be back on our own and Matt has a great new gig. Hopefully we will get settled and acclimated and used to being just us in no time. Until then, though, I have details to figure out and stuff to pack!

Denver, here we come!!

A Day in the Life

I haven't posted in a bit so I thought I would do a little Day in the Life post. Except today is probably not the best day because it wasn't exactly our typical Wednesday. It was actually better - I'll get to that in a minute though. My day started about 2:45 (AM, mind you!) with Margie crying. She has been up during the night a lot the past week, and since she has I am majorly short on sleep. Wandering to her room I was completely confused as to what day it was and had momentarily convinced myself it was Saturday. Quite the disappointment when I realized a few minutes later it was actually the middle of the week, let me tell you! Anyway, since I am so exhausted I have resorted to bringing Margie back into bed with me. We worked so hard to get her in her own bed a few months ago, but I need some sleep! We get back in bed and of course I have to glance at my phone because I have issues am up anyway. What, you don't check your phone randomly in the middle of the night? I'm glad I checked it though, because there was a text from Matt that I must have just missed when I fell asleep informing me we got some good news we were really eager to hear! Yay! Good news in the middle of the night is always a nice surprise. 6 AM rolled around much sooner than I would have liked but I dragged my butt out of bed and got ready for work. I was happy to see my hair had cooperated with my plans. You see, I shower at night and last night was a hair washing night (I wash my hair about 3 times a week) and I didn't blow it dry. Sometimes I like to play this little game of slapping a little coconut oil or gel on my hair and going to bed with it wet and seeing how it turns out in the morning. Today I had almost achieved those sexy beach waves so I considered it a success. (My back up plan is a top knot/ballerina bun if the waves are too frizzy or wonky or whatever). I put Margie back in her bed, felt my heart tear a little as she cried for me, made my coffee and headed to work. Somehow I am a bit behind at work, which is both stressful and awesome because time flies as I try to get caught up. Today is Administrative Professionals Day, which means we had a luncheon at work. I am not an "administrative professional" but all hourly employees are categorized as such and therefore I was invited to the luncheon. It was actually pretty lame but after it was over I had the rest of the afternoon TO.MY.SELF!!! I hit up Old Navy to return a couple things and grab a few things for the girls. Then I wandered down to Ulta and studied some Urban Decay make up that everyone raves about. Then I realized I have about zero beauty sense so there probably wasn't much point in buying a $20 eyeliner (and the $10 sharpener I would also need). I decided to head to Target, which is more my speed in terms of beauty products. I picked up a few things, most importantly K-cups, and headed over to pick Lily up from school, which was honestly the highlight of the day, even over the time to myself. I don't get to pick her up very often so it is always a treat for both of us when I do. We came home and had a snack and Margie woke up from her nap. We just hung out until it was time to go to choir. The past few weeks Margie has been sitting with the kids at choir. She doesn't talk much and certainly isn't actually singing, but she loves to be with the big kids and loves to dance to the songs.

After choir we met my inlaws for dinner at Jason's Deli. They have an amazing salad bar which perfectly fit the bill since I have been doing the paleo diet. I seriously had the best salad of my life and completely paleo! After dinner we headed home and the kids went to bed. Margie usually goes to bed first but I have Lily get her pjs on so she doesn't wake up Margie by getting them on when she goes to bed. Today she wasn't being very cooperative so I just put her to bed then as well. Not the best way to end the evening, but actually pretty typical lately. I take comfort in knowing that I don't have a lot of specific memories from age 5, so hopefully when she is older she won't remember me as a mean mom who always sent her to bed.
A quick shower, some lunch prep for tomorrow and that brings me to now!

Good night!

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First of all, could these two be any more precious? I love these little ladies with all my heart and I go to bed every night thinking how did I get so lucky to be their mommy? I miss them when I am at work and want to snuggle them while they are sleeping. Unfortunately, the hours between work and sleep often find me tired and crabby and it is a hectic time of day and I know more days than not they don't get the mommy they deserve. And every night I promise myself I will do better tomorrow, but it is a viscious cycle.

We have some big changes ahead and I am so excited about them, but also a little sad and scared and nervous. More about that later. Life has been a roller coaster the past 9 months or so and I am ready to get off.

We have been decluttering lately. I have been listing a bunch of stuff on Craigslist. I have been pretty successful in selling some things, but it is a full time job just to coordinate who is coming to look at what when. Or maybe most people don't list a ton of things at once? I don't know. It is also frustrating when you get several inquiries about an item but then when you set something up for one person to come see something they don't show up. Oh well, we've unloaded some stuff we no longer use and got some cash for it, so I guess it is a win in the end.

Today it finally started to feel like spring. It is March 28. The kids played outside a bit and I didn't wear a coat to work. Sure, it seemed like a mistake when I left at 6:45 and it was only 26 degrees out, but when came home at 3:00 and it was 50 degrees I realized I had clearly made the right choice. Ahem. I am looking forward to flip flops and no coats and going to the park every afternoon with the kids. I never used to mind winter before I had kids. Now, well now I am so over it by about MLK day.

Okay, time to watch the Daily Show. Night night!

FIVE!!!

Happy Birthday Lily Kathleen! You are five today! I can hardly believe it. It seems like just yesterday you made me a mommy, but I can't even remember what life was like before you were born. You have brought so much joy and laughter into my life. Everyday is challenging and wonderful and I am so blessed to be your mommy.


I won't lie - four has been a rough year. There have been a lot of changes and I know they have been hard on you. My going back to work has been the hardest on both of us. But I promise that five holds wonderful thing! We have so many adventures ahead of us and I can't wait! You will be starting kindergarten and we will be moving into a new house. You will be learning new things and making new friends.

You are such an amazing kid! You are creative and sensitive and intuitive and so stubborn. You are so smart and so funny and you never cease to amaze me with the things that come out of your mouth. You love to sing and make up your own songs. You love to play with your stuffed animals. You aren't so much into dolls and babies, but you love your stuffed animals and some of you little action figures. You current favorites are Ghost Busters and Star Wars, to you daddy's delight. We went to Build a Bear today and you created a Star Wars leopard (aptly named Jedi Leopard!), complete with light sabar and playing the Star Wars theme. At Toys R Us you picked out a light saber and Ghost Busters action figures. They fit perfectly with your Star Wars-Pirate-Ghost Busters-Princess themed birthday party. For dinner you asked for Swedish meatballs. Meatballs and noodles are your favorite foods ever! You are not big on breakfast and you tend to be a night owl. You love your daddy and sister with all your heart, and I think you are pretty fond of me as well. Sometimes you definitely just need some time alone with me, which makes me feel so good to be needed! I always used to think of you as outgoing and an extrovert, but I am learning that you are really an introvert. You are so observant and you pick up on everything.

Lily, you made me a mommy and I love you so much! Happy birthday Chickie!